A Beginner's Guide to Networking

By: Dalton Letorney, Strategic Growth & Product Marketing at Hulu | Disney Streaming

Growing up, I struggled to make friends. In high school, I remember standing in line for lunch behind one of the populars. As I tried to strike up a conversation—stumbling over my words to ask her thoughts on our bio test—she just laughed saying, “Dalton, you’re so awkward!”

Fast forward to today: I’ve launched my career in Growth Strategy & Product Marketing at the largest entertainment conglomerate in the world and give presentations regularly to executive leadership. I’ve given keynote speeches and panel interviews at major conventions, conferences, and top universities. 

Growing up in a middle-class family, nepotism wasn’t an option. Still, I’ve managed to network with some of the most powerful people in Film/TV, the most influential leaders in the Music industry, Fortune-100 executives, and prominent figures in Silicon Valley.

My secret? 

I learned how to make others want to network with me. Most networking advice focuses on reaching out to strangers to “pick their brain.” While this isn’t the worst approach, there are more effective ways to build high-value relationships.

WHY, WHERE, AND HOW DO WE NETWORK?

I hate the word networking. It feels cold and transactional. Reframing this concept changed my life. Instead of forcing yourself to “network,” think about how you have made your existing friends and social circles. I theorize that there are four primary foundations for nurturing any relationship:

• A shared environment which forces you to interact. A classroom, sports team, the office, a party.
  

• A high degree of convenience. Respective locations, life stages, and timing.
  

• Collaboration. Accomplished a shared goal or project together.
  

• Values and interests. Identical curiosities, forms of leisure, and passions.

And yes, all of these situations apply to professional networking! One of the easiest levers to pull is simply immersing yourself in an ideal environment.

Besides monotonous cold outreaching, one of the most overlooked ways to expand your network is by attending networking events. Search the word “networking” on Eventbrite, MeetUp, Facebook groups, and Google Events to discover events near you. Bring a buddy for accountability. Some more tips:

Don’t limit yourself to events in your career or niche.

Remember, treat networking like making friends. Humans are undeniably social creatures; we should not be networking for the sake of getting a job. Think of networking as a natural part of being human. We do it to connect with others, whether they’re in our chosen career sector or not.

Locate the socialite:

This type of contact is someone who will introduce you to others. This tactic works especially well when attending a networking event because socialites tend to be easy to spot (they’re either the host or an extremely extroverted person). Connect with them first, and they’ll naturally introduce you to others. Tell them about yourself, and if they’re a good connector or good host, they’ll already have a person in mind for you to meet.

Arrive early or leave late.

The first few moments of the event and the final 30 minutes are when the early-bird and late-straggler attendees are eager to talk. Take advantage of these low-traffic moments.

Once you create a habit of frequently placing yourself in environments that are conducive to meeting new people, we move on to employing an effective archetype.

THE NETWORKING ARCHETYPES

By assuming an archetype prior to connecting with someone—and especially an archetype that you naturally align with—you step into a defined role with structure and stability. Operating within these constraints will reduce anxiety and improve performance. The goal here is to master these core archetypes individually and in combinations. 

1. The Donor

The Donor is an authentic, selfless, and charitable archetype centered around assessing the needs of others and proactively solving problems. Like a donor to a charity, The Donor archetype readily offers their own connections, kind gestures, ideas, quality time, and access to resources, yet expects nothing in return. 

The beauty in these actions is in the thoughtfulness of the gesture, not necessarily the extent to which a need was filled or a problem was solved. As a result, this approach is excellent for beginner connectors. And naturally, those who you’ve helped are happy to reciprocate, often creating opportunities for you—unprompted.

 2. The Advisor

Advisors communicate their value through consulting and educating others on an area within their expertise. The Advisor is often a savant (or confident hobbyist) in a particular field. Thus, the value in connecting with The Advisor is related to competence, access to information, and delivering results. 

When building the early stages of a network, The Advisor type should focus on discovering environments in which their knowledge could be in high demand; NOT where their knowledge is typical or underappreciated. They should find places where they can be the most influential and where they have a loud voice.

3. The Curious

The Curious archetype tends to ask unusually thoughtful and insightful questions. These individuals are powerful listeners and highly observant, determined to understand things deeply. They are skilled at making others feel heard and interesting and often hear the phrase, “finally, someone understands me!”

Where The Curious connectors truly excel is in the reconnect. Their long-term memory and attention to detail helps them follow up with past connections, share relevant updates, flatter, and build rapport. We tend to associate this archetype with intelligence and competence.     

4. The Charmer

The Charmer has an almost fantastical, masterful use of language and tonality. They lead with extroversion and boldness, always managing to say the right thing. Regardless of who they are or what they do, the value in Charmers is mostly inherent likeability—others are drawn toward them like magnets, in awe of their social prowess. Since others assume it would be exhilarating to work with them, Charmers will be personally invited to prestigious opportunities, even with bare minimum skill sets.     

5. The Visionary

Visionaries are fearless self-starters and dreamers. They readily announce their goals and aspirations and communicate with fervor. Their creative energy captivates others and often turns a room full of strangers into inspired advocates. We find a Visionary’s candidness and sincerity extremely refreshing. Since these people are so transparent, we assume that they’re strong communicators and thus find ourselves asking to collaborate with them.     

6. The Mysterious

Mysterious archetypes speak in riddles with grandiose, abstract language. We feel that they are impressive, unique, and accomplished, but we don’t know exactly how or why. This archetype is ideal for those pivoting between careers: an actor still auditioning for a lead, an indecisive Liberal Arts student, or the startup founder unsure of product-market fit. 

Initially, they strategically emphasize a notable accomplishment or name-drop a well-known connection, describing it vaguely with occasional embellishments.The allure of The Mysterious grows stronger by the hour. We’ll never fully grasp their pursuits or potential. It fills our imaginations with infinite possibilities and reinforces their undeniable appeal.

7. The Chameleon

The Chameleon is one of the most practical—albeit, most challenging—archetypes. They are truly dynamic.

Like the eponymous animal’s instinct to change colors and blend in, The Chameleon archetype is highly adaptable to different social norms. They’re the Olympic athletes of corporate politics. A “human Chameleon” can quickly shift their vocabulary, tone of voice, and body language to relate to others. They are experts at “reading the room” and use well-developed intuition to determine their demeanor on the fly. 

The Chameleon persona is crucial to practice and explore; it enables one to form effective relationships with all kinds of personalities in all types of rooms  — especially in the Entertainment industry. 

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Embodying these archetypes and choosing an optimal environment will take time and practice. Expect it to feel awkward at first. This is okay. Adopting a new mindset gets easier as you go.

Networking is a beautiful, moving experience when we don’t think of it as a chore. Imagine the sense of purpose when you show genuine kindness to a stranger. Answer that LinkedIn message from that person you don’t know. Walk up to that CEO with a thoughtful question. Offer to refer someone to your company. As long as you’re kind, I guarantee you’ll be fielding daily messages with job offers and requests for advice and collaboration. You’ll be left breathless from invitations to previously impossible opportunities.