How I Tamper Anxiety Before Every Huge Networking Event

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How I Tamper Anxiety Before Every Huge Networking Event

& 5 other things I did to prepare for the CAA Young Hollywood Party last month

Photo by Latinx Talk Therapy

By Lucy Stover, Talent Coordinator at More/Medavoy Management; Co-Editor-in-Chief at The Hollywood Assistant

I am very much a people-person, extroverted, yappy, get along with anyone kinda gal. If you’ve met me in-person, which many of you have at this point, you’d likely agree. Networking events are like my playground. Or, rather, they should be.

But the truth is, networking events with any more than 10 other assistants are anxiety-inducing to pretty much everyone involved. Myself included. Although I tend to come off cool, confident, & collected (so I’m told lol), that’s certainly not how I feel on the inside when I am walking into a big happy hour.

So, as I got ready to attend the 20th annual Young Hollywood Party (YHP) hosted by CAA last month, I was forced to reflect on my nerves & prepare to overcome them. Why was I so anxious?

Besides the obvious, my self-awareness tells me that I fear looking foolish. It’s not really a reputation thing because, after all, no one is going to remember a 30-second interaction in a dark bar. But rather a pride thing. An imposter syndrome thing. And the only way to cure that is with over-preparation & an aura of confidence, even if it’s staged. 

Let’s get into the nitty gritty. No gatekeeping. This is everything I did before I hopped in my Uber.

Research

What was I getting myself into? First, the basics: where, when, how, why, who. I was lucky enough to be invited to attend the event as a VIP by the wonderful Christine Kovell, one of the several CAA powerhouses behind the scenes of YHP. The where, when, and how were all answered for me. 

I knew the overall reason to attend the event, which was to support the incredible nonprofit organizations Communities In Schools of Los Angeles (CISLA) and the CAA Foundation, to which the ticket cost benefitted. But I needed to know my own personal “why” and intentions for the night. You are far too busy to attend a networking event haphazardly! Make sure you set goals for the night & reflect on them the next morning. 

Now the “who.” This is a big one. Evidently, I knew most of the attendees would be CAA employees, the majority assistants but also bigwigs like Kevin Huvane and various talent and digital clientele I interacted with up in VIP. Try to get a guest list, if you can (that’s why I love when people use Partiful nowadays). I reminded myself of everyone I knew who worked at CAA, which agents I had the most interaction with at my day job, the clients I adore, the clients I dream of representing one day, and the assistants I was aware were attending. I looked at LinkedIns, Instagrams, IMDbs, and tried the best I could to be able to attach names to faces in the moment.

I recognize this sounds a little over-the-top for an average drink, but this was no average event and research is the best way to tamper the jitters. Trust me. Knowing what you’re getting into will help you recognize familiar faces, find smooth conversation starters based on common interests, and you’ll know you did everything in your power to prepare.

Know Your Story

Everyone knows you should have an “elevator pitch” to introduce yourself at interviews, but they come in handy at networking events, too. Inevitably, someone will ask you about yourself and you’ve got about 3 sentences to summarize your existence and why you’re interesting enough for them to keep talking to. 

Okay, let’s backtrack. That came off as intimidating. But, really, I’d like to frame it as exciting. We got in this business to become storytellers after all, no? You have this thrilling opportunity to tell your story straight from your own mouth. And, trust me, you are quite enthralling… so long as you portray yourself a certain way. 

Practice your story. Think about who you are, what you do, but most importantly, why you do it. The why is the kicker. It’s what makes you, you. 

Know your story; own your story; and, under no circumstances, belittle yourself to come off as more approachable…. for which I am entirely guilty. But, please, don’t!

Dress to Impress

Classic advice, but warranted! Wear something that makes you feel like yourself. Comfortable and confident. I always encourage something colorful or eclectic. Perhaps something you’ve been complimented in before. I find that when my exterior self is taken care of, my interior self settles down, in a sense.

This is what I threw on…

Practice Conversation Starters

This one is sort of giving “first date” anxiety and, frankly, these could all be used at any old bar, but stay with me. Putting my heart on my sleeve to share my most commonly used cold opens:

“What are you drinking?”

Bump into someone, excuse yourself, then ask for their name.

“How’d you end up here tonight?” 

Compliment/ask a question about what they’re wearing (that’s why the above is important). 

Remember Best Conversation Practices

The best thing you can do to carry on conversation is active listening. They joke about this in that new series NOBODY WANTS THIS (which you should watch, if you haven’t), but if you just listen to what someone says and repeat it back to them as a question, the convo can go on forever. For example:

Them: I think Conclave should be nominated for Best Picture, for sure.

Me: You think Conclave should be nominated for Best Picture?

Them: Yeah, election aside, I think the score was astounding.

Me: Wow, the score was astounding?

Them: Oh, absolutely….

And so on & so on. Yes, of course, I encourage you to insert your own opinions and add meaningful commentary, but sometimes you just can’t and that’s okay. My other advice is to start with asking them intriguing questions about themselves (avoid basic level biographical info and jump to what they’re watching/listening/loving right now). Find niche commonalities. Then, get their Instagram, introduce them to a friend, and rotate on.

Substances

There’s no chill way of saying that you need to consider how much you’ll drink. The CAA event was open bar–aka way too much fun for a Thursday night. I think substances are actually a huge pro at events like this. A drink or two certainly makes conversation flow more freely & the line “do you need another drink?” has never failed. 

But you need to make sure you know how much you plan on drinking, how you’re getting home, and what you will & will not do to fit in. Read between the lines and set your boundaries beforehand, because making decisions in the moment won’t go well. If you’re sober, there’s no need to have a drink just to look “normal.” The new normal is doing what makes you comfy. Plus, California sober is in right now. 

The Result

After all my prep and all my anxiety, I had an incredible evening. A perfect balance of forging new connections, reconnecting with former connections, and fun! The CAA team brought a level of care & heart to the event that amounted to a night I won’t soon forget. 

And here was my biggest realization:

Everybody else in that room was just as nervous as I was. We’re all a tad self-conscious. Whether we admit to it or not is another story.

But if I, in face of my fear, took a risk and put myself out there–the right people would respond. The type of people I want to have in my circle. & they did. They reflected my energy, bounced off my quips, my enthusiasm, and I did the same. And you can, too! I believe in you.

Also, you should totally attend the CAA Young Hollywood Party next year. Follow them here to see when they’ll have an event in your city!