Notes on Stepping Away

By Alexis Doryumu,

Coordinator at Tracy Yvonne Productions

In 2020, weeks before the pandemic hit, I went to the movies to watch Kitty Green’s The Assistant. Admittedly, the film made me uncomfortable because I naively thought that its portrayal of the assistant life fed into the capitalization of a damaging, yet very rare situation (It’s important to note that this moviegoing experience predated my assistant journey. Spoiler alert: the lady doth protest too much!) 

Now, more than ever, as I approach two years working full-time in entertainment, I empathize with the grueling monotony of the assistant experience. The exhaustion, the prickly personalities, the low pay, the never-ending expenses. And sure, there are moments of joy and camaraderie amongst our colleagues. But still, the work never ends, so the question becomes: how do we pause? How do we carve out space for ourselves to remember that we have a life outside of being The Office of “Whomever”?

Personally, my thing is playing the ukulele. I consider myself a mediocre player at best, partially because the Kala tuning app glitches on my phone, but also because it doesn’t matter if I’m good. I need to just show up and remind myself that there is life outside of film and television.

Even if it’s only ten minutes and I’m desperate to watch my recent comfort show (currently, UnPrisoned on Hulu), I need something that separates me from the business, which is easier said than done when the thing you love happens to be the thing that pays the bills. 

I love TV and movies, even when I think I don’t, even in the moments when it’s late and I’m catching up on emails or having my third existential career crisis of the week. But Hollywood isn’t everything, which is what makes it all the more special. It’s important to remember that we can come back to it. There will always be a need and desire for stories, which is to say that it’s okay to shut it down from time to time. Storytelling is a diverse medium, pulling from a wide net of experiences. So, balance should be key, right? Enjoy the sunshine, sew, dance like no one’s watching, water your plants! 

I haven’t fully mastered how to turn it “off” — the scheduling needs, the high priority items, the unread scripts and so on— but I still savor the times where I can forget everything and come back better than ever. 

So, to all of the assistants out there, will you join me in stepping away for a second?