Per My Last Email: Lessons Learned Over Two Decades Working a Desk

By: Jose Cabrera, Assistant to Howard Gordon at Sony TV

How many avails did you send last week? How about last month? Multiply that number by 240, and that’s how many I’ve sent in my over two decades as a Hollywood assistant in casting, directing, and most recently, for a television showrunner. 

It’s been an enlightening experience to say the least. I’ve definitely learned valuable insights to help my fellow assistants navigate this crazy work we do, and I figured, why not share those tips with all of you?

When it came to submitting this piece, my first thought was, “I have to WRITE something by a DEADLINE!?” After the anxiety subsided, I realized that my greatest lessons aren’t industry-specific but more so overall life lessons. So give it a read, and maybe these words will inspire you in your career or beyond. After all, there’s more to life than our careers.      

1. “Discontent is the first step in progress of a man or a nation.” —Oscar Wilde  

When I was 24 years old, I read those words in a fortune cookie. When I accepted that discontent preludes improvement, I began to see unhappiness as motivation. Failures and sadness can be turned into movement forward. Of course, it’s never ideal to be miserable in your situation, but use that dissatisfaction to propel you forward.

Also remember: not every job as an assistant has to be miserable. Working for the right person can be pretty exciting! But when you’re feeling low, lean on your friends and network for support. Unhappiness is just a sounding alarm to wake up and do some introspection. No job is perfect, but no job should make you feel totally discontent either. If it does, it may be time to “progress” on.     

2. It’s not glamorous every day. But sometimes, it is.

I’ve picked up dog shit. I’ve washed dishes that I didn’t use. I’ve had to drive across town to find a specific size of plastic baggie to hold medicine, and I’ve had to pick up dry cleaning more times than I can count. None of that was in the job description, nor was it ever featured on Access Hollywood. So why do it?My wife is from a small town in Wisconsin and during a recent trip to her hometown, three people approached me to confess they love the show I work on (Accused on Hulu). They've watched every episode and hound me about whether it’s going to be renewed for another season. The look of awe and joy on their faces makes the dog shit, the dishes, and dry cleaning all worth it. I later recounted to my wife the first time I saw Richard Moll from Night Court (the original; I’m old!) in person; I had the biggest grin on my face, and I felt exactly like those people that love my show. We’re all here doing little things that are part of a big thing that means something to someone. The sausage isn’t pretty to make but damn, it’s delicious.     

3. Always take the perks. 

Given the industry’s infamous glitz, it's only natural that our bosses want, and sometimes demand, that extra special thing. They want prime seats, a stellar reservation, upgrades, swag, premiere and hot-ticket party invites. It’s what sets them apart from the non-industry folk. And let’s be honest; they work hard at what they do, so why shouldn’t they have the best? But if you can wrangle the best too, then always accept those perks. Always.

A boss of mine once secured free box seats for an exclusive movie premiere at the Hollywood Bowl, and he told me there was no limit to how many people he could take. So I added myself and a friend to the list, guilt-free. We already feel guilty for eating our third helping of Pirate’s Booty from the kitchen and skimping on the gym. There’s no need to feel guilty for leveraging our industry’s great perks. When drinks are free, accept them. 

4. Work hard, and be nice to people. 

My boss had a poster behind his desk with this axiom, and everyone commented on how he perfectly embodied the words.Meanwhile, at another job, there was a Director who frequented the office who can best be described as “difficult.” One day at lunch, I let the office dog lick his burger. Be warned: that’s what happens if you aren’t nice to people!How a person treats his or her assistant tells you all you need to know, and in turn, how you treat your fellow assistants tells me all I need to know. People move up and out and think the rules of basic human decency no longer apply to  them. This newsletter, the Awesome Assistants Facebook group (7.5K members), and the Young Entertainment Professionals LinkedIn group (9K followers) are basically built around the fact that assistants hold power and are vital to keeping the town running. Don't forget that we deserve the same basic respect as our bosses, even if your boss is Steven Spielberg himself.     

5. Use your free time wisely. 

I’ve been playing adult kickball for longer than I can recall. It’s a silly game and a small respite from thinking about work. How you choose to make use of your free time is a window into your desire. Many of us want to advance creatively—be it writing, directing, or producing. So if you’re engaging in those activities in your free time—perfect! It’s taking your mind away from the doldrums of administrative work, while simultaneously investing in and committing to your creative future. Or, if you’re shifting your brain away from the industry altogether through knitting or building Star Wars Lego sets—that’s also great! Whatever it is you choose to do, never try to push the hustle 24/7. And if you don’t have free time, then you’re doing something wrong.      

6. Know your breaking point. 

One morning on my way to work as a Casting Associate, I wondered, “How bad of an accident do I need to get into so that I don’t have to go to work?” Like, would I have to go to the hospital, or could I just get into a fender bender and claim whiplash?There comes a point when you’ve worked day-after-day, week-after-week, month-after-month, and year-after-year, and then you ask, “Why?” You may not have advanced, or you may have advanced and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. That’s a sign. If you stop feeling the pull, then refocus on what makes you tick, and don’t be afraid to admit your job may no longer be what you want. Our minds are allowed to change—we’re dynamic beings after all. Just remember: discontent is the first sign of progress for a man or a nation. Happiness is just on the horizon.