The Disabled Assistant

By Rachel Rose Keller (Executive Assistant, Scott Dikkers (How to Write Funny))

& Lucy Stover, (Executive Assistant, More/Medavoy Management, Co-Editor-in-Chief, The Hollywood Assistant)

Rachel taking a work call one day post-op

Assistant life is fighting every day to be indispensable in a position that is, by definition, expendable– particularly so as we see companies dismantling and layoffs left & right. Who are the first ones to go? Assistants. So you find a way to not let it be you. Type faster than your heartbeat. Read your boss’s mind to anticipate their needs. Live, breathe, and sleep Outlook. Prove your loyalty to your company through overtime during unpaid lunches, holidays, and weekend reads.

These arguably absurd expectations are difficult to fulfill by anyone. “Hustle culture” continues to be put on a pedestal separating the fast from the faster. Many of us who can and want to keep up are impeded by one hurdle we just can’t control: our disabilities and chronic illnesses. 

Disability is messy, complicated, & beautiful. For us, and for so many other assistants, it’s just a part of life. “Hello, we’re disabled, nice to meet you.” Sometimes it can sound more like, “Hello, I know you can’t see it, but we’re disabled or have been seeking diagnosis for some-odd years because the US medical care system is corrupt, nice to meet you.” You probably even work with someone with a disability, but you may not know it. Acknowledging that we’re here is a small, but vital step in actionable change. Because if you know we work amongst you, you can’t pretend we don’t exist.

We know what you’re thinking. There’s been a huge shift in diverse storytelling and stories about disability, look at “CODA” and “Finding Nemo!” Well, “CODA” is actually an incredible example. “Finding Nemo” is another thing… Point is authentic stories about and made by disabled creators are far and few between. Most of the content that does exist falls into the stereotypical “triumph of the human spirit” routine or, what members of the disability community like to call, inspiration porn. But the exploitation of disabled bodies for able-bodied viewing pleasure is a whole other article. Today, we want to focus on the assistants living with disabilities and chronic illness behind the scenes.

A note: Disability, the word itself, is a huge umbrella term encompassing so many folks with completely different lives. Not everyone with chronic conditions or mental illnesses identifies as a part of the disabled community and that is totally okay. Let’s acknowledge upfront that we in no way can speak for everyone, nor do we wish to. We can only speak on our personal experiences, the other disabled assistants we’ve interviewed, the ableism we face, and what we believe would make this industry a better place.

As an assistant with a disability, we have to try 2x as hard to keep up with the pace set by our (predominantly) able-bodied counterparts. Then, we have to be 3x as good and unique and special to create what we like to call “the bubble.” The inch or two of well, they’re a really hard worker and they rarely make mistakes like this that protects us from the passive aggression when we take 2 hours off for a doctor’s appointment or, god forbid, a day or two to recover from surgery. If we’re lucky enough to evade any poorly-masked frustration from our bosses and coworkers, there’s still that whole pile of extra work to be finished by EOD. 

Not to mention The Guilt. The irrational, nauseating feeling that sinks into the pit of your stomach everytime you aren’t at your desk. Or at a networking event. Or taking that assistant you really need to befriend to drinks. The Guilt of feeling like you can’t keep up. The Guilt of knowing it will only get worse as you climb up the totem pole toward more responsibility and less personal time. Thus, we’ve sent emails in stirrups, taken client calls in hospital waiting rooms, submitted self-tapes in another window during Zoom therapy, and thrown up off-camera on team calls. 

Oh, and don’t even get us started about health insurance. On average, Lucy pays $200 on copays a month. Plus another $80 or so in pharmaceutical costs. That’s about 10% of the average assistant’s monthly salary. If you’re under the age of 26, god bless, you’re likely safe on your parents insurance. But there will come a day that losing your job means losing your access to safe, affordable healthcare. For those of us with chronic illnesses or disabilities, that can be the difference between life and death. Cue The Guilt.

Now, let’s get one thing straight: Our disabilities do not disable us from being good assistants. They disable us from fulfilling or, rather, conforming to ableist expectations. Actually, in several cases, our so-called “disabilities'' aid us in strengthening skills more than our able-bodied peers. Empathy. People-skills. Emotional intelligence. Perseverance. Diligence. For some, depending on personal experience, increased focus, memory, and uniquely creative thinking. 

But due to widely-held stereotypical belief that disabilities are, in fact, disabling, the majority of assistants (and humans, in general) will mask themselves if they’re able. We fear being perceived as different or, worse, being pitied. That’s why many folks with invisible illness, or disability that cannot be seen by the casual observer, will choose to fly under the radar. Obviously, this is a personal decision and your disability is no less valid whether you choose to share this information or not. However, without communicating your condition(s) in the workplace you risk not receiving accommodations that could improve your ability to perform your job and, really, your quality of life. Accommodations that are rightfully yours to ask for and utilize. No, actually– there are laws and regulations in place for this very reason.

For the average person, you only hear about accommodations when one of your buddies gets extra time on a test in school, you see an ASL interpreter at an event, or your grandpa gets a hearing aid. Well, accommodations exist in the workplace too. This can look like additional PTO, large print, closed captioning, elimination of certain manual tasks, policy adjustment to allow service animals, and, of course, hybrid or remote work (the one good thing the pandemic gifted us). Not everyone needs the same accommodations. For example, a person with a service animal may need regular scheduled breaks to bring the animal to relieve itself outside whereas a person with chronic pain may need a flexible schedule that allows them to take breaks spur of the moment. But the most important accommodation for all, in our humble opinions, is understanding and empathy. 

It can feel uncomfortable and vulnerable to seemingly cross the line from professional to personal by sharing your medical information with your supervisor. But remember that when your personal life is negatively impacting your professional life, you have every right to cross the line on your own terms. This doesn’t mean you have to whip out a copy of your test results or show your boss your post-op pics. You have the right to privacy, too. Personal and private are not synonymous. 

Here is our best advice for approaching the conversation with your boss: Plan out what you’re going to say ahead of time. In-person or phone call is preferred, but an email can work, too. Be direct and clear, while showing respect. Share that you have a disability, chronic illness, or are seeking diagnosis and give just enough detail to warrant the needs you are about to bring up next. Be specific with the accommodations you’re asking for and be prepared to explain how they’d improve your job performance. Stay focused on your productivity, de-emphasizing the personal or emotional impact. They may ask questions. Take a breath. While you don’t have to answer anything about your medical situation, you may have to be open to compromise. Afterwards, make sure to document the conversation in a follow-up email summarizing the agreement. 

We know how hard it is to ask for anything as an assistant, let alone what feels like special treatment. But accommodations are not preferential; they are equitable. 

The truth is, the responsibility of discussing accommodations should not only lie in the hands of the person who needs them. It is the duty of our leaders– the HR reps, execs, and anyone who is a supervisor– to lead open and honest conversations about disability during the onboarding process; to educate themselves on disability and chronic illness; and to lead with empathy. Our whole industry relies on empathy, the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes. Whether it’s imagining what an audience wants to see on screen or predicting your client’s needs before a callback, execs utilize empathy everyday in their business operations whether they know it or not. The next step is consciously choosing to apply that same skill to their relationship with their assistant. 

If we’re getting wild here, say a wizard or David Zaslav is reading this, then let’s admit we cannot do this by ourselves. We need our fellow assistants, recruiters, supervisors, VPs, and studio execs to step up. To become allies. The power dynamic that separates assistant from exec is the very same that suppresses voices of change. We need our higher-ups not only to acknowledge disability, but to champion disabled creators across fields. 

There can be no cookie-cutter assistant in an equitable Hollywood. We are all different humans with different skills, weaknesses, and abilities. When we allow the hegemonic definition of “the assistant” to prevail, assistants with disabilities will always be seemingly falling short. Instead, we beg our peers and our superiors alike to consider what being a “good assistant” truly means. Is it about the “dues” paid to the desk regardless of external circumstance? Or is it truly about the dedication to trying with consideration of the external circumstances that stand in our way? 

In an equitable Hollywood, there will only be one answer. So hello, again. We have disabilities and we make damn good assistants.

Some acknowledgements…

To our bosses (hopefully) reading this, thank you for your support and allyship. We feel so incredibly grateful to be working for you. But, with no targeted offense, we should not have to feel grateful. The wonderful treatment we receive from you should be the treatment that all assistants receive regardless of ability. But, through our interviews and personal experiences, we know that is not the case.

To all our other assistants with disabilities, chronic illnesses, or seeking diagnosis– you can do this. We can do this.

More resources to check out on Hollywood x disability… RespectAbility, The Inevitable Foundation, Job Accommodation Network