The Scariest Part of Being an Assistant Is...
*To look up unfamiliar terms, check out our Hollywood Glossary.
By Lucy Stover, Coordinator at More/Medavoy Management and THA's Co-Editor-in-Chief
*We wrote this in the midst of our Sunday scaries. So be warned. Only ye who are the bravest and strongest assistants shall pass unscathed (that’s you!).
Designed by Peratale
In honor of spooky season, we wanted to normalize something scarier than “The Substance” (2024): our careers.
No, we’re not talking about the daily terror of speaking with high-level talent or converting meetings times to six different time zones– although that’s also arguably it’s own brand of terrifying. We’re talking about the can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, all-consuming fear of the unknown. The gnawing anxiety that makes us ask: Where is my career headed, and how long will it take me to get there?
We like to call it catastrophic career anxiety– the kind where your imagination creates one misstep that leads to the next and suddenly it feels like this was all for nothing and you’ll never win that Oscar or buy your parents that house or stick it to your small town frenemies. And it’s not even lunch yet.
Clearly, we suffer from it, too. It’s that perfectionist drive we assistants tend to inherit. Every move feels cataclysmic. It sorta is when one typo is enough to set off your boss…
On those days, the fear and anxiety can be paralyzing. It feels like everyone else has it all figured out, like they’re perfectly in sync with their career goals while you’re stuck in limbo. But here’s the truth: no one has it all figured out. Everyone feels like an imposter sometimes. And being scared? That’s okay.
This month, we asked our fellow assistants to share the scariest part of their careers and how they cope. Let’s confront these fears together & take back our power:
“Screwing up. I know we all do it, so why is it so terrifying? It’s this fear that one screw up will change the way my coworkers see me and my performance. My reputation.
So I redownloaded Grammarly, reread my emails twice (or try to), and I still screw up. Because mistakes happen. It’s embarrassing, but I’ve learned to just grit my teeth and bear it. In the long run, and careers are a long run, people won’t remember inconsequential mistakes. So you can’t fester on them either.”
“Working at a production company, I am constantly terrified of suggesting passes on IP or specs in fear that they will one day be that one project that everyone loves. One of my old boss’s passed on Memento and that one makes sense because that script is insane. But what if you pass on the next Breaking Bad?
Before starting my current job, I felt fairly confident in my abilities to assess scripts and books and what would sell. But now I’m just constantly second guessing what audiences will care about.
But I’ve also realized that you can’t make every great project. And even a great piece of IP doesn’t automatically make it right for your company. I’ve instead tried to dial in to find gaps in our slate rather than try to find that one in a million hit because at the end of the day, a project is so much more than just the written material. And a lot of the time the script or book it’s based on is just a barrier of entry to incredible casting, cinematography, directing, etc. that really makes a show or movie what it is.”
“Imposter syndrome. I often find myself wondering if I am even qualified to do my job. If I’m worthy of it. It feels like so much power and responsibility was thrusted at me and, even though my boss says I am doing well, it feels like one day the other shoe will drop and they will discover I’m not who I say I am. Especially right now, when so many incredible people are losing their jobs to layoffs, why me?
But then I remember— of course I am qualified to do my job, because I am doing it. Every day it gets done. My team chose me because they believe in me. It’s just hard to believe in myself. Sometimes writing down a list of cool things I’ve accomplished at work can help. Something grounding and real. I can look back at it and say, ‘That was me. I did that.’”
“Uhhh, will I always be poor? Life isn’t all about money. I know that. And I’m not asking to be a millionaire. But, seriously, will I always be buying the cheapest brand of pasta at the grocery store? Will I ever pay off my student loans? Is my job today, with no retirement benefits or 401k or whatever, gonna f*ck me over when I’m 80?
Maybe. Probably. I don’t know! All I do know is that I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life. While I hate that I have to eat Good & Gather penne because a quarter of my paycheck goes to networking drinks, I have to remind myself I am building a future where I won’t mind paying for valet. I’m manifesting it.
But if you’re reading this, yes, make sure you’re investing in a high-yield savings account and your 401k.”
“Being judged by my peers for being a ‘suck up,’’try hard,’ or what have you. Frankly, this may be more of a ‘me’ problem from the way I was treated as a ‘teacher’s pet’ growing up in my small town, but I can’t shake this fear of looking like an idiot to everyone around me. Nowadays, even when I am emailing other assistants to set lunches and stuff, I find myself reading into curt responses when the logical part of me knows they’re just moving fast.
I think it pays to take an extra ten seconds to be a bit more kind and colloquial, especially to other assistants. The way I counteract that self-consciousness is by going out of my way to make sure I never make another person feel that way.”
Last one, for fun…
“Falling on my face at a premiere or big carpet event. The night before, I always practice walking in my heels to “Von Dutch” by Charli XCX with my roommates. I’m not kidding. Every time.”
As assistants, it’s easy to feel like we’re living in our own horror story. But what we often forget is that these fears are not unique to us. We all share them, in some form or another.
Talking about our experiences, like the stories we’ve heard from fellow assistants this month, helps to normalize the anxiety that so often accompanies ambition. It reminds us that feeling scared doesn’t mean we’re unqualified or destined to fail. In fact, it’s a sign that we care deeply about our work, our futures, and the impact we want to make.
After all, what’s a little career anxiety compared to the courage it takes to pursue your dreams every day?
You are so much more courageous than you think. We believe in you; but you have to believe in you, too. Boo, or whatever :)
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